Wednesday, October 07, 2009

I always remember to blog when I'm supposed to be doing work. Odd or whut?

Updates:

- I got a pet crayfish. No, it can't be eaten. Yes, it does kiap fingers. No, I haven't been kiapped. Yet.
I named it Spiny. Its full name is Spinelius Cortuge the fourth- it's royalty.
He's blue and about 3 inches long from claw to tail, and totally adorable :D
I've got a close-up peekture of him on FB if anyone's interested; I'm too lazy as hell to find it and upload it here.

- At the present moment, I am working on a business presentation which I've no idea how to do, but is due tomorrow, and attempting to start on my history mini-essay, due Friday but needs to be sent to the sexy Mr. James by tomorrow.

Shit. I really have no idea how to do the business thingamajig, and I'm so damn tired, I just want to collapse into my warm, comfy and inviting bed, and drift away into dreamland where there are no scary pieces of homework out to get me..

I HATE ASSIGNMENTS/PROJECTS/HOMEWORK. YOU SUCK, WORK! YOU SUCK SO DAMN BAD!

GRAAAAHHHHHHHHH! RANTRANTRANTRANTRANT.

I feel a little dumb because I'm practically talking to myself on my blog. Ah hell, who cares. It's supposed to be a diary of sorts anyways. And ranting feels good.

GOOOOOOOOD.

@Wednesday, October 07, 2009 // 0 Comments?!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Holidays seem to have barely started and it's already ending.. And I haven't even really done anything apart from lazing around at home, sleeping late and sleeping in. Shite.

Facebook is being a bitch and refuses to let me log in.. Like I can do anything EXCEPT logging in.

GAH :(

@Thursday, September 10, 2009 // 0 Comments?!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I've actually got one more paper (chemistry) nest Wednesday, but for some reason, it feels like exams are over already :D

I think I did pretty well for the chinese essay- surprisingly, the only word I forgot was "shui" as in sleep. wth, of all the difficult words to forget I forget that one.. (must be symbolic of my lack of sleep as I frantically crammed every night!) But I remembered it in the end, so all's good :D

History was an interesting experience.

I was so amazed at the amount of words that were pouring out of my brain out onto the writing paper- it's like all the ideas and facts swishing around in my head had a mass-orgy, resulting in my historical epiphany.
*click* Annabelle Ip likes this.

But I was at a loss for what to write for 3 questions, and only had the best part of 15 minutes to complete them- (because I got clever this time, and completed the 15 mark question first, especially since I actually KNEW how to answer it) the sources they were based on were actually in a worksheet we were previously given, which I didn't complete/turn in because I was ill.
..Oh well. Either way, he didn't mark them nor go through the worksheet, so.. No matter.

They were worth 5,6 and 6 marks respectively, I did the first 2 half-heartedly since I didn't even really understand the sources (in one of the sources- a cartoon, the man I thought was Hitler was in fact Chamberlain. wth la.) and ran out of time to complete the third, which I completely didn't understand, anyways.

Blah.

After my papers, there was a teacher's day rehearsal that was supposed to start at 1, but only commenced at 1:40. I was really pissed and grumpy at the blatant waste of time.
Jie Yu was shouting at the other councillors about how irresponsible,unorganized and useless they were, while all she did was.. Carry 1 mic stand.. And.. Uhh.. Shout at the councillors.
Wow, very useful.
Her extremely whiny voice grated on my nerves and did nothing to help my already-foul mood, and when the actual rehearsal finally started, I sang like shite :(
At least we were the first performers so we could take our leave after we did our bit.

No offense, but I find it very hard to bear with her. Kudos to Bryan (Ng) and Jessica for putting up with her before, and actually appearing to be fond of her.

While she's prancing around in what she thinks to be an adorable manner, making grotesque "endearing" faces at Ke an and EJ, and screeching in her very,very high-pitched voice, she's also got a massive ego and treats everyone else as though she's superior to them.

Once, we were asked to shift chairs, and while Jie Yu kicked up this huge, cutesy fuss over struggling to carry one, (good lord, is the girl really that weak!?) Ke an helped her, and Jie Yu immediately protested rudely, "Heyyyyyyy! I have muscles tooooooooo!"

It's like.. ... So do you want to be helped, or what?

She always used to ask me what I thought her best features were, and she'd go on to blather on about how she thinks she has good skin and how great she thinks her figure is.
I shan't comment on that because tastes are very personal.

Another time, during a chemistry practical, we were asked to find the volume of a drop of water.
The teacher hinted that we needed to count the number of drops of water in some way.

We were given burettes, so.. The obvious course of action would be to either decide on a number of droplets, say 50, count them as you release them, then divide the volume of water used by the number of drops, or the other way around, decide on a volume of water, then count how many drops makes up that amount. Pretty straightforward.

We were asked to do it 3 times for accuracy, and by the end of the period, while people were cleaning up their benches, she was still sitting there, silently counting drops of water. Her burette was almost empty, and then she asked us, "do we count in the water that's in the tip of the burette below the line?"

We were like !?!??!

Turns out she started alllll the way from the top of the burette (50ml I think?) and counted every single drop of water in that 50 ml. She'd counted close to a thousand drops, I think.
"Am I doing it wrong?" She asked us.

We were like ............... And kindly told her what actually needed to be done.

"I'm not stupid, you know!" She rudely retorted and proceeded to ignore us. Not a word of thanks, of course ._.

And oftentimes she's in class asking a simple question, getting an extremely clear answer, then going, "Ya, but I still don't understand why xyz!(the same question)"
The process is repeated 2 or 3 times, then she nods her head and goes "Ohhhh.." in a very unconvincing manner. It's pretty clear that she doesn't get it.

I might be wrong, but this happens relatively often- thus leading me to the conclusion that she's not exactly the brightest crayon in the box.

I know it's not very nice of me to complain about her- she's never really done anything to me, but I can't help but find her quite.. Pretentious. I mean, the forced cutesy voice, the way she walks/runs.. NOBODY does any of that naturally. NOBODY. And when she's being serious, her voice changes. Not as high and unnatural.

..Yah. Okay, enough ranting D:
Even the saintly, ever-patient Ke an comes to me sometimes and lets off some steam about her, so I guess I'm allowed to as well, right? :D

I went to Bryan's place for a swim today, we were tanning on lounge chairs next to each other. He was reading Waiting for Godot, a thoroughly uninteresting book, for Lit, and totally ignored me for almost 20 minutes, engrossed in his stupid book. I was staring at him the whole time but didn't get a single glance in return -_-

I lost my temper and stalked off into the freezing-cold shallow pool, sitting down behind one of the ornamental pillars with water falling from a fountain-thingy above. Bryan soon came after me, concernedly asking me what was wrong. I told him, then he got irritated and defensive, saying that I was the one who didn't talk to him, and that he would have talked to me if I did. I couldn't get a word in edgewise, so I gave up and just went "yeah, yeah, okay" in a very patronising manner.

He soon got fed up and walked off, presumably to dive back into his fascinating book.

I stubbornly waited there in the same position even though I was damn near shivering from the cold. I mean, it would be pretty dumb if I went back to him, right? hahahaha. It's a girl thing, I suppose D:

After who-knows-how-long of me sitting there freezing my ass off, Bryan skipped up to me and started being all sweet and apologetic. I was still mad, but couldn't help but to eventually break out into a smile when he kept trying to force me under the fountain-thingy after telling me, wide-eyed, that I couldn't go on the water-slides unless I went under it. Hahahah.

Okay I'm tired of typing.

Hugs, kisses and PushPop love! (Berry flavoured)

@Saturday, August 29, 2009 // 0 Comments?!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Shitshit. I think I did craptastically for chinese.

The poem I memorised only had one sentence to finish, and it was worth like.. 1 mark.

The stupid chinese metaphor things (like nine cows one hair?) came out in an entire damn section and was worth 10 marks! Even the open-ended comprehension was only 7 marks!

And I couldn't understand the stupid comprehension that I was supposed to use to write a letter on. I'm reasonably sure it was about dumplings, especially since it had a little picture of dumplings at the top..

I couldn't tell which confusing-looking words were names, dishes or places, so I just randomly copy-and-pasted impressive-looking bits into the letter D:

GRRRMPH CHINESE!
It's not like I'm planning to deal with China people anytime in the future- even the non-english-speaking waiters and waitresses in restaurants piss me off to no end, so why do I needa take it? >:(

And I failed math, as per normal, but this time I REALLY tried, so I'm pretty sure I'll get double digits this time. The last time I totally gave up on it and spend the best part of 5 minutes solving the simplest equations and got 4% I think.

If I got absolutely super-duper full-marks for every single question I attempted, I'd get 39/80. Sad or what :(

I don't care much for math, but I decided that a few more marks wouldn't go amiss improving my overall score. And plus, I really want to do well this time because Mrs. Koh has been giving me two 1 hour 20 minute lessons a week during my free periods, which is really sweet of her..

I feel so terrible for loathing math :(

Bryan came over today for a while after school and suddenly, he looked at me solemnly, and whispered, "The target has been sighted. Missiles locked, firing in 3..2..1.."
and then he made this "shzooooom" sound and flew his hands over and started tickling me furiously. Then we had an epic inter-galactic tickle battle.
HAHAHAHAHA, he is the cutest thing ever, never ceases to make me smile :D

Anyways, enough soppiness, I've history tomorrow, and I HAVE to do well, because this is one of the few subjects that I should be scoring in..

Argh, I'm so scared.. Mr. James will be so very, very disappointed if I screw up history again :(

Pruny kisses and sweaty hugs to all!

@Thursday, August 27, 2009 // 0 Comments?!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Quick quick quick!

- New (first ever) camera; Lumiz TZ7- it's orgasmic. And also happens to be my christmas present for this year. It even has a built in thingy for camwhoring, "self-portrait", where it centres the face in the middle of the picture. Like I said, orgasmic :D

I now have a fear of letting a stranger help me take pictures. Like in disneyland or something.
The dude would just grab it and run, right? Right? Ah, but he doesn't know that I'll catch up to him in 3 strides and open a can of whoop-ass right there.

- EXAMS EXAMS EXAMS EXAMS

- 2 papers today: English paper 1 (don't know how I did, grades are always a hit or miss with Bala, depending on his mood) and B&M, which I'm reasonably sure I did fine for

- 3 feckin' papers tomorrow: English paper 2, (on Waiting For Godot and Royal Cunt, I mean, Hunt of the Sun- both of which I haven't finished reading *gasps*) Chinese paper 1 (we need to memorise 2 poems. Grmmph) and maths. Triple epicular fail. Verrry nice.

- MY BLACKBERRY BABY IS TOTALLY MALFUNCTIONING ON ME.
I love it to bits and am gonna replace it with another BBB from Starhub, who offers on-the-spot exchange if the phone goes crazy within the warranty period.
Singtel sends it to CANADA to be repaired. And it takes 3 weeks. Singtel can eat my nuts.

- I'mma order beef jerky from eBay. Awesome or what.

I'm supposed to be reading up on the 2 books for english paper tomorrow. Why the hell did I end up blogging!?

wtfbbq, I always blog when I'm not supposed to, and never blog when I'm free.

LOVE HUGS AND PEEWEE KISSES.

@Wednesday, August 26, 2009 // 0 Comments?!

Sunday, August 02, 2009

I don't even know if I'm ultimately right or wrong now. I wish I could stop doing this but I can't- my emotions keep getting the best of me. I don't want this to happen anymore but it can't stop, I can't stop. I hate this feeling of paranoia that keeps bubbling up like an overflowing pot, causing me to lose control.

But I also hate that you can't and refuse to understand, no matter how many times I try to explain, to rationalise why I have to do this.

Are my justifications sound? I can't tell; I'm biased since my emotions keep taking over.
Are you the one who's in the wrong for not allowing yourself to be let in? Am I not letting you in?

I don't even know if I should say sorry.

I don't understand why it's so difficult for you. Is this really so important? More so than me? Is that why this is happening?

I'm supposed to have a presentation ready for class tomorrow. How am I supposed to concentrate on fascism when turmoil's raging in my head?

Nevermind. I have nothing to do but wait. That's what I asked for in the first place, anyways. I'll wait, but I don't know what will happen, what difference it'll make after the wait's over. I honestly don't think anything will change. The only thing I can think of is the last thing we'll ever resort to.

I honestly hope it doesn't come to that, but I guess it's the only plausible solution.

@Sunday, August 02, 2009 // 0 Comments?!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Note: Sorry for another bitch-post. I really need to get it out, or I'm gonna explode.

Life has been rather complicated of late.

The IB life has been a flurry of long, draggy days, mountains of homework (which I occasionally turn in, if the fancy takes me) and extreme weariness. I can still deal with it, though- the class is constantly surging forward in a flow of intellect, you can't help but be pushed along with it.

But I've been having a large problem. It's a friend of mine, a close one.

For the past few months, I've gradually came to realise how CLOSE someone can get, how uncomfortable it can be. Everyday, towards the end of school, instead of feeling elated that my "own" time is drawing near- I have to start prepping myself, inventing stories and lies, so that I can get away.

During free-periods, me and Bryan are sometimes settled comfortably outside the classroom, enjoying the feel of the sun on our chilled skin. Maybe we're flirting with each other, maybe I'm weaving my voice around his.
Isn't it a little awkward to plop yourself down as well, 2 inches away from me?

Maybe he wants to show me something he wants to get on the internet- do you really have to draw up a chair so close to me and him, and better yet- offer to help him buy it?
I understand your good intentions. But really, some things ought to be left to the girlfriend with the debit card.

Can you blame me for wanting to get away?

"It just feels like I'm always being left on my own because every waking moment of her life has to be spent with him. I guess some girls are like that; they don't need friends, they just need their boyfriends. I never really understood that."
- An excerpt from her blog post

Maybe you'll understand, when you actually find someone you're willing to love.

It's hard to be apart from him when he's there, tangibly, not just a phone text or his disembodied voice. When I hardly see him outside of school, when time is restrained by family and parents, time together is pretty precious- I'm always left wanting.

I'm sure fifteen minutes more or less grinding with a faceless stranger in a haze-filled club is nothing to you, but when I know I won't be seeing Bryan over the long weekend, I could use that fifteen minutes to enjoy being held by him. Those precious few minutes can make a world of difference.

I really don't understand. Before, when I genuinely enjoyed your company, you'd run off to flirt with guys that you're not even vaguely interested in. Not a word of complaint from me- I'd just find someone else to hang out with, right? Why can't you?

And to add insult to injury, when I'm trying my hardest to still continue spending time with you, to be nice to you, to continue being a good friend to you, you go and do something so, so stupid.

I asked you to help me hang on to my wallet while I dump the empty noodle bowls. I forget to ask for it back from you, perhaps you absentmindedly tucked it under your arm and forgot about it as well.

Why would you go and do something like tossing it under someone else's table? Not even under your own table, which I know for a fact is half-empty?

You didn't even think to return it to me when school ended, did you, when you claimed to have been fiddling with my wallet chain throughout maths and chemistry, which are the last two lessons? That's odd, it must have been under YOUR table if you were fiddling with it, isn't it? How on earth did it end up under the table next to yours?

And who would dare to walk up and take money from my wallet from the table right behind me?
I know I didn't leave the classroom the entire time my wallet was there.

Ah, whatever. I'm pretty sure you took the money, alright?

Even if you didn't, the only apology I get is one through an SMS?
You see me on Monday and pretend nothing happened- you just do your usual routine of hugging me, which I really, really hate. (I have nothing against hugs. But from someone who has to hug you every hour, someone you'd rather interact with an awful lot less- it really gets on your nerves)

The missing $100 gone is inconsequential in comparison with this molten, boiling emotion I'm experiencing right now.

I've always tried my best to put on a smile, rather than a wince, whenever I see you. I've to bite my tongue and restrain myself from telling you to fuck off when I want to have some time with Bryan. I try not to lash out when you get so damn close.

Why do you have to go and make everything worse by doing this? Now I can't even trust you?

And you wonder why I'm "drifting away". Maybe you should give it a good, long thought.

@Thursday, July 30, 2009 // 3 Comments?!

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